Shaman; [shah-muh n, shey-, sham-uh n]: a person who acts as intermediary between the natural and supernatural worlds, using magic to cure illness, foretell the future, control spiritual forces, etc. Shamans are spiritual guides and practitioners, not of the divine, but of the very elements. A shaman is an intermediary between this world and the spirit world. They act on behalf of the community conducting ceremonial rituals, healing the people, and helping to guide others on the shamanic path.
Shamanism (/ˈʃɑːmən/ SHAH-men or /ˈʃeɪmən/ SHAY-mən) is a practice that involves a practitioner reaching altered states of consciousness in order to perceive and interact with a spirit world and channel these transcendental energies into this world.
For more detailed definition please click here
I grew up with nature. I had woodland, forest and fields just to the back of my house. I used to grow up believing in fairies, gnomes and other nature creatures and spirits. I would be able to communicate with nature, understand the wind and smell the rain. I was able to feel the trees, commune with the animals and smell the flowers. I would grow vegetables with care and love, look after chickens and help feeding the cows. My hands were connected to the earth, Feet connected to the trees and my hair to the air and sky. I felt like a green woman.
But then I had to enter the school – system. All of a sudden, there was no tooth fairy anymore, Baby Christ as my friend was for babies, and playing with me was ‘un-cool’ as I was ‘disabled’.
All of a sudden, colours became downbeat – blurred, grey and I felt lifeless. Rejection, bullying and social dislike became the daily routine- resulting to my adverse reaction and rebelliousness; hence struggle to fit in, to accept, love and tolerate myself. With 14 I smoked my first cigarette and with 15 I started to drink – heavily.
I felt unloved, and any believe in any higher power, fairies, furry friend was vanished. I felt like pink Floyd ‘Another brick in the wall’. I wore dread locks, was rude to my family, grew marijuana in my parent’s house and was a right nightmare to hang out with. But worst of all I HATED myself, the world and the whole system. I couldn’t find any sense or purpose of any existence.
When I turned 18 I had my first LSD trip – which totally changed my perception of life as we see it. All of a sudden I was taken back to my childhood experience- all of a sudden I could see the real world, with its fairies, gnomes and spirits. I could ‘communicate’ with what is around me again. I was reconnected to the divine- at least as long as for the duration of the LSD trip.
Nevertheless, from that moment onward, I was totally assured that there is far more than our eyes can see. And I also was consciously aware of the power I had within me. I could stop the wind from blowing or ask the wind to blow away the clouds so I can have a BBQ.
But tell that to someone who has never taken any LSD in his life – they literally think you are a drug addict crazy person – hallucinating. But let’s be really honest here – any drug you take triggers something in your brain which is already there, just dormant. This is a proven fact, so in reality LSD showed me what would is possible, if I would find a way to access certain functions of my brain, to reconnect to the wider sense of being.
Obviously our political system would never want you to be free thinker, being able to access the simple code of living happy without having to slave yourself. This would make everyone equal, happy, satisfied.
Anyhow, with this new acknowledgment I finally managed to complete my school and moved to London (on my own, driving my Fiat Panda) to study Business Management & communications. Especially the beginning in London was super difficult. It was a complete new system, you needed coins to have electricity or hot water, the ‘bedsit’ was horribly small, hot and expensive and to top it up, the post lost a check with my saved money. So I spent the first 6 months struggling with my daily existence.
There was, however, a beautiful side to it – there were literally angels, spirits, white witches, gnomes and other light creatures helping me not to give up, helping me to find something to eat, get some money for hot water and sent people my way to help.
There were so many dangerous, life threatening and unbearable situations but I was protected, saved, cared for and guided. Having survived these life threatening situations (such as having a gun to your head and a knife on your throat) made me feel invincible, I know I can do anything I want, I will be save. I would even challenge my luck, walking on the edge and testing the powerful connection to your own created thoughts.
A very good example would be how I had acquired my turn-tables and was a DJ for a while. Before I moved to London, I already wanted to be a DJ. Back then a DJ still would play with records, Vinyl on Technics 1210. Back then, London was THE place to be if you wanted to be a DJ. You could buy all sort of great records all over London, there was no ending on choice and offer of great music.
But of course, turntables and records cost lots of money – it was about £1000 back then. And I never had this amount of money, but also never gave up the believe that one day I will have it – and so it happened that one day my bank make a mistake, and I had the amount of an unexplained £1000 on my account.
This feeling of invincibility trigger an additional wanderlust, so when I finished my BA in Business Management, I packed all my stuff and moved to Sao Paulo, Brazil.
With my turntables, records and all my other belongings, I landed in Brazil, where I soon after met my ex-husband. First we lived in Sao Paulo where we would party most of the time, but then my husband’s uncle died and we moved to the deep country side outside from Rio. There I had discovered the power of Macumba and Ayahuasca. Being in tropical nature, connected to various spirits I would experience the raw power of nature and being itself.
Due to many differences, I left Brazil, my ex-husband, the sunshine, the beach, 10 cats, 4 dogs and half of my heart. I had to leave in January without money and any winter clothes. I arrived in Graz, where my mum was picking me up. My dreams, my bubble of invincibility, my sense of life, were shattered. I hit rock- bottom.
I had lost faith, believe and more faith. I would walk with the darkest cloud possible over my head, blaming everyone and everything for my existence while failing to recognize that I had a blessed life.
In 2007 I moved back to London, moaning, complaining and unhappy. Still after while I got fed up with this dark cloud and started to look for ways out. A little yoga here, a little social dancing here and a little house party there. But, unfortunately, it needed to be the diagnostic of my best friend’s two brain tumours for me to finally wake up. I needed to be shown that life can change/ end in one second, and if I don’t start living and loving life it might be too late one day.
And this was also the moment for me to consciously reconnect to higher powers. But obviously it was not a straight forward journey of changing years-old behaviour buttons in one day. By working on myself in many ways, such as yoga, meditation, reading books like ‘The Secret’, ‘The power of now’ or going rock-climbing brought me closer to my true being. Practicing ‘being in the now’ certainly calmed me, made me accept the deeper sense of purpose of life and helped me to overcome my existential fears, such as money, a roof over my head and my daily meal. However, I still liked my odd drink and my drug-fueled parties – and it reached a point where I had lost control. I became loud, weird and then utterly embarrassed about my behaviour the night before.
There was this massive ball of energy just coming out of me- bouncing up and down the walls. I became an embarrassment to others and unbearable for myself.
On advice of my spiritual guidance friends I had decided to consult a shamanic practitioner to help me with my energy, to help me to find purpose in life and to help me to overcome my addictions.
A year before, in 2012, I already wanted to find a shaman, but was not able to. In July 2013 (I know this date as it was shortly after my birthday), however, ‘The Sacred Trust’ popped straight up and I booked a healing session with a very special lady near my home.
Before the session I had to read a book about ‘Soul retrieval’ and things started to make sense. Why I was acting like I was, why I was feeling scattered all over the place and why I was feeling so restless.
Considering all my past experiences in life and the huge ball of energy, I was wondering if I could ‘become’ a shamanic healer using my energy for helping others.
Well the answer of the spirits was yes and I attended the ‘Shamanic pathway’ – an introduction workshop into shamanism hosted by Simon Buxton.
Now I am a very skeptical person, and when I was told we should merge with the spirits in order to do the Power Dance, I honestly didn’t believe a thing of it. And as you all know, I was a PARTY girl – meaning I had reached many highs on the dance floor.
But I went along; I asked my power animals to merge with me, while listening to the intensity of the drum. AND then – all of a sudden it grabbed me, went right into me and made a dance of joy, love and ecstasy – for the first time I had consciously experienced natural ecstasy. I fully was aware of what is possible without having to take drugs.
Since this day, I have attended various shamanic workshops to deepen my understanding. One of them – ‘the Spirit of the drum’ was absolutely life changing as it brought me together to my new ‘love’ in my life called ‘Janice’. Janice, the drum, is amazing. Wherever I go and play with her she is healing people. I met a girl with server autism on a beach in France. I played the drum and the girl just smiled, was happy and in peace. Another woman approached me on the same beach and told me her life story, felt released and free to finally be able to talk with someone about her life.
In June 2016 I had completed the ‘Two Week Training in Classical Shamanism’, allowing me to perform: Soul Retrieval, Extraction work, Psychopomp work, curse unraveling and dispossession work. More details here
As you learn to heal you enjoy the process of being healed. Within the last year, my life has changed to the better. I am now running my own business- offering comedy to vulnerable people and finally let go from ALL my addictions (Nicotine, sugar, alcohol, A-class drugs). I am practicing almost every day yoga, eat healthy, sleep better, meditate and I feel totally in tune with the real me. Since I have completed the two week’s intensive course, I have been healing people from Brazil, Austria, UK and USA.
The results of my work have been astonishing and clearly proving that this work works! I only believe results when I see them – and I have seen.
I feel I have become the ‘Wounded Healer’ whose life long journey has established certain healing powers. In my life I came to face father death, the devil as well as purest love and joy. I felt horrendous pain as much as I had experienced warm loving comfort.
I truly believe that whatever I had to endure in my life was to prepare me in order to use my power for helping the greater good.
My lifelong I have been looking for a way to contribute for the greater good. Now I know I have great powers, but I need to learn how to use my powers fully and intentionally.
So this is why I am traveling to New Mexico – it seems to me something is calling me to go there, to learn, to deepen and grow my knowledge, my skills and most importantly my intentions.
In New Mexico I will be working with Michele ‘Ama Wehali’.
Please support my fundraising campaign
Thank you – Lot’s of love & Healing